contradictions.. being fickled minded. all these can simply be factors tt can change the surroundings ard you. and at most of the times.. i believe.. they will bring negatives results. well. this is wad's happening to me right now.
anyway.. stayed back for night study jus now. was quite gd.. except for the fact tt it was quite humid and everyone's feeling kinda sticky.. haha.. and there's lots of flies ard. but overall.. it's great. but i am dead tired now.. decided not to go sch tml. ha 4 more days to MYE. cumon pple! study harder! (:
u can actually hate me if you wan to. there's nth i can do. i only ask you how were you out of concern.. bcos i heard you were sick.. i meant nth else. i stil treat you as a fren.. even if you do not. ur frens may say tt i suck. well.. i am. but do they really know? i dn think so.
i know things are different now. i jus hope tt u go for wadever you wan. i gotta be honest. seeing u feeling dwn today.. it kinda affects me.. but when i saw u having fun wif ur frens.. i smiled too. it's jus that simple. i jus wan you to be who u're. tt's all i am asking for.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006 9:44 PM
today is wed. nice day! cos it's a short day. but since exams are near.. there will be long days.. at least for 1 week plus? yup anyway.. thanks dajie and erjie for buying a new phone for me! i guess i really it.. n it came at a right time! haha. THANKS! nightstudy is on again.. well..maybe will stay back some days and revise my work. there will be teachers too.. so can ask them qns. tt will be great.
my mood haf been quite gd these few days? haha. good la. great start. keep it up jack.
i am glad we talked again.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006 8:59 PM
where had my oldman gone too?! haha. i haf no study companion now. pple. i am not crazy la. oldman's jus this voodoo doll who keeps me company everynight when i study. haha!! sometimes i am so stressed up tt i talked to it! but today.. it's gone! damn damn damn.. i am lonely la. oh well. fate's playin a part here i guess.. wad's new after all? ha.
sch had reopened for 2 days.. nth much had happened. i haf been laughin alot these few days too. but sometimes i wonder am i putting up a show. or had i really put the past behind me. i dn really know. maybe the "drama" is really over. once and for all. and everyone's carryin on wif their own lives. not like it's a bad thing ya?
oh my. MYE will be starting next week. i am really done for this time.
sch life. im 'loving' it.
Sunday, June 25, 2006 1:21 PM
Saturday, June 24, 2006 9:43 PM
Watch my life pass me by In the rear view mirror Pictures frozen in time Are becoming clearer I don't wanna waste another day Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes
Cause I want you, And I feel you, Crawling underneath my skin Like a hunger, Like a burning, To find a place I've never been Now I'm broken, And I'm faded, I'm half the man I thought I would be: But you can have what's left of me
I've been dying inside, Little by little, No where to go, But going out of my mind In endless circles, Running from my self until, You gave me a reason for standing still
It's falling faster, Barely breathing,Give me something, To believe inTell me: It's not all in my headTake what's leftOf this man Make me whole Once again
I've been dying inside you see I'm going out of my mind Out of my mind I'm just running in circles all the time Will you take what's left Will you take what's left Will you take what's left of me? Just running in circles in my mind Will you take what's left Will you take what's left Will you take what's left of me?
Nick Lachey- What's left of me anyone knows how to play this song? hah. i dunno why i like this song. maybe it kinda relates to me. i dunno.
i know u will be reading this entry. oh well. i dunno why. but i jus wanna say i am sorry again. so many things had happened during this hols. it's kinda stupid some will say. but for me, there were so many lessons i haf learnt. so many. some.. well i won know if i wana write it out here. some things are better left unsaid. some told me. i shldn' haf let you go as u will be a better choice. while some said it's better to follow my heart and go for wad i wan. i chose the latter. n in the end.. everything ended up in this situation. well. i am not complaining. but i dunno whether i am regretting things. i know it's useless to say anything now. i will jus hafta move on. cummon As. u are the only one i love now. ha!
Friday, June 23, 2006 11:42 PM
nani? i am here to update! haha. ok la. i am kinda lazy these few days to blog. so pardon me. but it's not like anything interested had happened to me. so there's no diff la.. cos i am only studying and slping n of course.. watching world cup matches everyday. i so feel like an nocturnal animal. ha went sentosa today again. heh wif riyah, nani and aishah. i am red like dunno wad now.. and it's painful!
guess we're so much like strangers now. tt even a simple 'hi' seems so hard to come out frm our mouth. i dn even dare to look at you now. how much things can change in jus 1-2 weeks. oh man.
note frm kelvin: anyone wanna buy iPOD nano at a discounted price? almost half of wad courts is selling now.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006 1:41 PM
everything is done with. it's over. guyster, are u happy now? tt everything u wished for had gone ur way? ha i think i screwed up everything. hot headed sensitive. posessive? these are some of the words that can be use to describe me. well. i didn ask for anything more. at least.. we talked things out and we were honest wif each other. yea. it's gonna hurt us more if it's going to drag along. i haf to admit. most of the times.. the ugly truth is the "real" truth. which will hurt most of us.. but yet.. teach us a lesson i had tried my best. perhaps, i had tried to hard.. and thus, the result.. i jus wanna say sorry to whoever it has affected. u all shld know who you are. sorry for my childishness and for the fact that i am still so freakin immature when it comes to handling this kind of things.
well. thanks riyah and playmate for listening to me. thanks. haha.. so funny. it's like iam giving a speech here huh? no no no.. i jus saying how i feel. well.. actually i really do not know how to feel there.. shld i feel sad or glad? that this whole drama had been put to a complete stop.i hope so.. and it will not re-surface again.
all the best to you.. (and may ur coughing heal soon) take care dancing princess.
Friday, June 16, 2006 2:00 PM
ytd was great! sentosa outing wit my classmates.. not all thou. i woke up late.. so the others had to wait for me and mark.. who was later. haha there were brandon, huda, riyah, geetha and nani. basically, we jus went to siloso la.n slacked over there. for me..think everyone gt sunburnt? haha.. alright.. i am super red now la.. and it's aching. abv were some of the pics.
after sentosa.. came back hm. had actually wanted to take a short nap b4 meeting jinwei at.. where else.. kovan mac.. to study. but argh. uncle was using the comp in e room. so.. forget it.. might as well dn slp.. so jus went out again.. and stayed at mac all e way till this morning! cos we were watching world cup matches. haha.. england won 2-0! woo. but they played quite badly thou. well.. cherie jus called.. saying they are going jacob's house for a gathering tonight. heh. i dunno if i am allowed to go anot. let's see then..
Sunday, June 11, 2006 1:03 PM
throat's finally getting better. went for erjie's graduation photo shoot ytd. kinda fun.. but can see.. tt posing is very tiring.. so unnatural..haha. hopefully the pics will come out real good cos it really cost alot! 900+? wow. b4.. we went to sentosa.. for some beach soccer tournament.. won 1 and lost 2.. so.. we didn advance thru the group stages.. damn. really wasted..
ya..maybe guyster is correct to some extent. i dn wanna hurt no one no more. n i am sorry for those who i haf hurt before. tt's all i could say. it all had been said..i jus wanna learnt frm my past experiences. nth more..
Wednesday, June 07, 2006 9:06 PM
i jus woke up la. cos went justin's chalet at costa sands. but it was not totally enjoyable for me cos i didn get to eat all the food! throat infection i guess. the same old prob. i can't even swollow my saliva now. let alone eating proper meal. argh! now i can't sing. haa we actually did nth much in the chalet.. maybe we were too engross in shark's PS2. haha.. play till we slp.. which is like 5+ in the morning? haha.. me and jamas were always the last men standing.. justin and shark lousy la. anyway.. shark! dn be too sad abt ur phone k? parents nag nag awhile.. after that.. everything will be cool and a new phone will be on ur way.. haha after we booked out of the chalet.. we went to wild wild wet! haha.. dumb jacky was on his 1st trip there.. haa. but not much diff from the swimming complex at chinese garden la! waste pple money only. haha. but overall.. the whole trip was fun la.. (:
awkardness cos there's nth i can say.. maybe i haf. but i jus dunno how to get it started. all i need is a chance to do this right. i dunno.. maybe it's jus me.. who let everything started. and now.. i am suffering from god knows wad.. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! jacky. u are so fucking dumb dumb dumb DUMB!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006 10:30 AM
this is the 1st time my fever healed so fast.. i jus popped in 2 panandols and tadah~ no more fever.. but my joints still hurt and my throat's stil pain! i am almost voiceless now.. to think that i hafta go justin's chalet later.. surely this cannot eat.. that cannot eat. sad la.. supposedly going to catch "The Nun" today.. but charlotte! haha.. busy buSY BUSY!! kiddin la.. nvm. we'll catch it another time ya? jamas and shark can join us too.. haha. so funny.. i checked my friendster jus now.. and saw a testi frm my sec sch junior.. i dunno him well.. but well. he wrote this..
hello.this is a senior of mine. though i rarely talked to him back in sec schdays. i knew him thru argus,ruijie,eddie..etc. d only thing i remem is he sang nsync songs on stage wit d other seniors. and it rox. hahaoh well take care ah senior!
eh eh.. correction.. i swear i didn't sing nsync's songs on stage before.. but it's so funny la.. cos.. well.. i danced. haha! yup.. i danced.. and this testi certainly brought back alot of memories when i was in woodsville.. dancing wif kelvin, agus, kay, irene, mingfen, thana, amos. and still got alot others..haha! funny.
there're so many things i wanna say to you. but too bad.. u're not always here to listen.. sometimes here.. sometime.. *poof* u're gone so wad makes me think u 're still the one i wan. ya i knew. right frm the beginning. even if it means nth will come of this..i will still be here for ya.. i dn wanna take the risk of walkin away anymore. i hate this feeling
Monday, June 05, 2006 11:04 AM
i tinkn i am falling sick. my body is aching eveywhere. and worse still, my phlegm contained blood. argh.. mus drink more water! haven been able to blog abt ytd. ehh..nth much thou.. jus brought my cousins ard shopping. it was so crowded.. esp at suntec.. crowded till accidents nearly happened on the escalators.. where pple were stucked and nearly fell. haha met up wif kel and vic after that.. went partyworld. i sang almost all the songs i think.. tt my throat is so freakin pain now. haa
hey. i am really sorry for the doubts tt i had for ya. it's like jus after wad kelvin told me ytd.. then i realise wad's going on.. and wad the full picture is about. he said to put myself in your shoes.. and then i know.. wad u meant by insecure. u know? tt i feel insecure too. but oh well. there's really nth i can do abt it.. u said to talk abt it after a while.. yea yea.. tt will do.. i am really sorry for bringing you all the troubles and frustrations. you are all i want now.
Saturday, June 03, 2006 11:47 PM
didn study again. met up wif xk, gus and kel hung ard bugis like some lil bengs. haha.. cos we were waiting for the england match to get started.. 9pm yea.. went to the same pub we went b4.. my god.. i am having a severe headache now. haa.. one should never drink if they are in a bad mood.. it's bad for health.. waha ok..i need to go vomit. ciaos! -puke-
1:19 PM
should i say it's tenison+ emotions tt has gotten into me? yea.. damn right. there's actually nth i shld be frustrated abt, since i haf made up my choice but there's like so many things inside of me tt i dn really know how to explain. it can be said that i was kind of relieve that almost everything has been sorted out ytd. n i wanna apologize for throwin my temper ard. i am jus so freaking frustrated and i felt that i really needed to vent it somewhere. case closed anyway. -i hope so- phoning ytd was.. well.. alright but it seemed that u and him can talk better. so i was stupid enuff to ask wad if he likes you and wad will you do. haha. i am silly.. but i can't help but think that he kinda likes you.. and vice versa -stabbed myself- bye
Thursday, June 01, 2006 11:02 PM
everything seems so uncontrollable.. i dn even fucking know wad i am thinking anymore
