Thursday, August 25, 2005
11:56 AM
It's all fake..I know it.. It's not me.. Not the jacky tt u all are seeing..I dunno wad's happening to me.. the "good mood" thing is all a fake i guess.. Inside of me.. everything's twirling.. I dunno.. I am really so confused at wad's going on at this moment..
I am sry lynn.. I knew i shld haf return the book to u myself..and not ask ur classmate to pass it to u.. BUt i really didn know tt he did not go back to class straightaway and put it in ur class.. Ya..my fault aite? For showing all the attitude.. Everything's my fault..I'm sry
I expect you to tok to me..to ask me exactly wad happen.. But u didn.. N even said. I damn attitude..without hearing my explanation.. U know how much it hurt me.. Dammit..I don wad happen to me and lynn to affect things b/w us can?
Why these fuck shit is happenning to me at this pt of time? How to carry wif such a life like this.. Was walking home last night.. I really felt like jus running towards those incoming cars and let them run over me.. Who cares? No one! Wad a fuck life i haf.. No one.. coming home is alrdy like going to hell.. And now..all this..do u know i really nided u so much to stand by me?
FUCK! It's ME..I even blame my parents for bringing me to this world..Shit.. I dn even know wad i wan in life now.. Seriously dunno..
U asked me..if i am really determined to get the things i wan i life..YA..i thinked too much.. I tot.. U was abt to ask me to give it all up again.. I really dn wish tt anything will affect us.. I dn wish.. U heard tt? BUt why are we toking like this.. why.. Hope things will turn out fine soon..
Went for trainin today.. But didn took part in it.. Jus stood by the side and did my own stuffs like shooting.. Ya.. coach ask me to go to the doc asap.. Stupid me.. Simple stuffs like going to the doc. I also can't get it done.. Dumb.. Then.. we had photo taking.. Quite fun.. wif the crappy boys ard.. And also we saboed Justin as today was his bdae.. HAPYY BDAE JUSTIN!
Went home alone after tt.. Saw Kel and his ger.. Suddenly i felt so lonely.. Haha.. Where are you...?
And whoever anyhow write my name on the tables in lt4.. dn be stupid la k? I think i know who u all are.. But pls la..u all only causing more probs for me.. My classmates are alrdy making it into a joke and i dn feel good.. Dammit..
"You make feel as if i'll lose you..Feel so scared..felt so lost.. dn leave aites? The promise b/w us.. It's still there.."
